A beautiful woman in her late-20s hired me to help make her apartment look better. She lived with hand-me-down furniture, but earned a good living and could afford better. She wanted to wait until she got married and could create her home with a future husband. No one was in the picture at the moment. She didn’t realize that her place was saying: “waiting to marry before starting my life.”
A divorced dad wanted my help putting his new home together. He wanted his two young children to feel at home when they stayed with him. The living room had been turned into a giant play room, the TV room had puzzles, games and partially empty snack plates everywhere. He didn’t realize that his home was saying: “disorganized father in need of a mother.”
A successful bachelor hired me to make his new house meet all of his needs: entertaining and chilling. His living room sectional looked like a giant bed, and he’d lined the top of his kitchen cabinets with empty wine and liquor bottles. He didn’t realize that his home was saying: “randy dude who’s battling the bottle.”
A couple needed to temporarily downsize because the husband was terminal and the wife was his full-time care giver. They each needed a private space with the two bedrooms, but she would eventually be transitioning from wife to widow and needed her home to be easy to manage and to nurture her during a difficult season. She didn’t want her home to say: “depleted nurse.”
A divorcee took what she could from her 3,000 SF house and wanted help making it all feel like a sweet retreat in her one-bedroom apartment. She also needed to be able to walk through the place. She didn’t want her home to say: “hoarding furniture for my next big house.”
A divorcing couple resulted in the wife taking all of the “good stuff” and leaving behind the mismatched and random items. All that remained were pieces of black and brown leather furniture, beer steins and college décor. He had gathered items from his sympathetic mom’s basement, relics of retired trends and color schemes. He, too, was thinking he’d wait until his next partner showed up, who would take control and create what she wanted. He didn’t realize that his home was saying: “sad mama’s boy.”
Our home is a reflection of what’s going on inside us. It will give us away, whether we want it to or not. What is your home revealing to others about you?
I can hear some of you saying, “Who cares what others think.” I hear you. But we dress to convey who we are, so like it or not we already consider how we are perceived. At the very least, don’t we want to send an accurate message?
When our idea of “home” involves the potential of another person, is our day-to-day happiness held in limbo, tied to some future event? We might come across as floundering, desperate, waiting for someone else to save us. What if that wait lasts more years than we anticipate? How long are we willing to stay in limbo?
Even if we’re perfectly happy in our situation, our home may not reflect it to others or, more importantly, to ourselves.
I believe that our home should (1) support the life we envision for ourselves, and (2) be a source of restoration and nurturing. Taking the time to think about it gives it life. After all, everything ever created began as a thought.
Thinking about what we want for our life—or what I call creating a vision—is a vital first step. It sets an intention. Action, however, is powerful. Actively and purposefully creating our vision sets expectations. It puts it into motion. It takes it from a thought to something real and tangible. The law of attraction works best in this environment.
Need help dreaming? Think about past vacations, homes of others, even the movie sets of films you’ve seen. Spend time on Pinterest and create a vision board, then give me a call. Even if you don’t feel like you have anything workable, I have a knack for seeing common denominators that you might miss. We then put together a shopping plan that accommodates your budget.
What do you want to attract? And while you’re waiting for it, don’t you deserve to come home to a home you love? I say yes!
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Copyright © 2022 by Cynthia Gentry Black, Home Staging by Cynthia, LLC in Kansas City.
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